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PRINCIPLE 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want

PRINCIPLE 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want


Yes I want

Yes I Want

The third principle Dale Carnegie talks about is developing the urge in other person to want something aligned with your want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Why talk about what we want? You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.

Harry A, Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behavior said; “Action
springs out of what we fundamentally desire . . . and the best piece of advice which can
be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in
politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the
whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships.
“If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the
other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your

The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.

Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer and one of America’s great business leaders, once said: “People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.”

I can share a recent example where a new graduate was getting few jobs but not joining them or leaving very soon. His family, friends were not able to appreciate this. I met this guy and talked about what is going on and why is he not joining jobs or leaving them at once.

His reason was very simple: “The job or the managers do not appreciate his wants, his skills, his aspirations and they just want something to be done without a decent reasoning”.

I could appreciate this young mind’s thought and discussed further on what he wants and he came up with wonderful idea about starting a small business where he can use his skills and make a difference to people. I echoed to him why don’t he try that. With such small interaction he got the confidence to start his own work and I could see the drive to do the wonder.

First, arouse in the other person an eager want He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.

PRINCIPLE 1 – Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
PRINCIPLE 2 – Give honest and sincere appreciation

We will dive further into ‘Ways to Make People Like You’ in next write-up.
Please refer to ‘How to Get the Most Out of This Book‘ to beginning the series from start.

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