Fundamental Techniques in Handling People (How to Win Friends)

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

“IF YOU WANT TO GATHER HONEY, DON’T KICK OVER THE BEEHIVE”

Dear friends, as promised I am bringing the next section from the great book, “How to win Friends and Influence People”. This book is so good that you can stop it reading and you can not stop applying it in real world to see the difference around.

how-to-win-friends

In the earlier write-up we talked about ‘How to Get the Most Out of This Book’ and in continuum, This write-up is focusing on ‘Fundamental Techniques in Handling People’

PRINCIPLE 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

We see it all around that most people observe and point at ‘things not done well’ but never
acknowledge ‘thing done well’. And most of time we are busy with finding fault of others and never try to judge self / self actions.

There you are, human nature in action… Even if a person is wrongdoer, one tend to blame everybody but oneself. We are all like that. So when you and I are tempted to criticize someone tomorrow, let’s remember that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home.

When I talk with my manager peer group or supervisors or people dealing people, I find everyone want to change and regulate and improve other members in team or group. That is good as part of their job/function but It is very rare that they themselves want to change themselves and improve themselves.

It is observed that criticism drives one to defend one’s action and doesn’t lead to real motivated improvement. So avoid criticism to keep the negativism at bay.

For more details / example refer Principle1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

PRINCIPLE 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
THE BIG SECRET OF DEALING WITH PEOPLE

There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. Yes, just one-way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.

Honest appreciation always motivates and creates the desire/drive to do something and something positive. As a manager, I have seen appreciation being so infectious that it impacts entire work culture.

For more details / example refer Principle2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

PRINCIPLE 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
“HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM. HE WHO CANNOT WALKS A LONELY WAY”

The third principle Dale talks about is developing the urge in other person to want something aligned with your want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what is their real want and then show them how to get it.

Why talk about what we want? You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.

In my experience, I find each employee is interested in one question during any interaction/communication… The question is ‘What is in it for me?’ If as manager, we are able to bring across the ‘What is in it for me’ element for the employee, we can get the employee on board for any journey.

For more details / example refer Principle3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

We will dive further into ‘Ways to Make People Like You’ in next write-up.
Please refer to ‘How to Get the Most Out of This Book’ to beginning the series from start.

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