How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dear friends, I am very excited to share that I have started reading one the greatest ‘self help’ book ever published. You are right it is ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ (Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936. It has sold 16 million copies world-wide). I plan to share my learning/understanding/highlights from the sections of book, in a series of blogs/write-ups.
Why this Book?
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem we face, especially if you are in
business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a professor, housewife, doctor or engineer. There is a quote in support “the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.”
At our workplace where teams (different functions, experience level, other diversities) work together to achieve business/organization objectives, we need person 2 person interactions, collaboration, decision making, challenges, negotiations and all.
To sum up, Each one of us has a deep sense of need for:
1. Get out of a mental blocks, think new thoughts, new visions and discover new ambitions.
2. Make friends quickly and easily.
3. Increase your popularity.
4. Win people to your way of thinking.
5. Increase your influence, your prestige, and your ability to get things done.
6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments & keep your human contacts smooth & pleasant.
7. Become a better speaker and a more entertaining conversationalist.
8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
And I reckon this book is a ‘self help’ to deal with these key areas very well.
…..Also I could make sense of key suggestions on ‘How to Get the Most Out of This Book’. These are the golden principle to get most out of the book or a learning/improving upon dealing with people.
1. You must have the fundamental requisite ‘a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous
determination to increase your ability to deal with people’. Constantly remind yourself how important these principles are to you. Say to yourself over and over: “My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend upon my skill in dealing with people.”
2.Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird’s-eye view of it. And if you want to increase your skill in human relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly again.
3. Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading. Ask yourself just
how and when you can apply each suggestion.
4. Use marker, pencil, pen and highlight the suggestion / sentence that you feel you can use and implement. Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far easier to review rapidly.
5. If you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of the book, don’t imagine that skimming
through it once will be good enough. After reading it thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month. Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the application/execution.
6. Bernard Shaw once remarked: “If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this book, do something about them. Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don’t you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is applied sticks in your mind.
7. Offer your friend, spouse, your child or some business associate a dollar or pound or rupee every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle. Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.
8. It is said that you should start your day with listing the day plan and then review every day how the day went. Essentially devote a part of your day’s time or week’s time to the illuminating process of self examination and review and appraisal. ‘What mistakes did I make that time?’ ‘What did I do that was right-and in what way could I have improved my performance?’ This will impart two quick gains:
First, you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is both intriguing and
Second, you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people will grow
9. Maintain your notes in diary showing how and when you have applied these principles. You should record your triumphs in the application of these principles. Be specific.. Give names, dates, and results. Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts. Also such instances will be fascinating and inspiring when you look back years from now.
Let me take a pause here and then we will continue with next section in my next write-up ‘PART ONE- Fundamental Techniques in Handling People’